MY I PROCESS

MY I PROCESS
First i start by taking a full breath. I slowly bring some of the past moments here.
And so now here it is, my process of writing myself to freedom. Well, I begun watching and downloading lots of desteniproductions videos on YouTube sometime last year, early last year. At this point in time I was struggling to make my financial ends meet. But I did have time to watch very many videos and even tried out the self-forgiveness process on my own before starting the DIP course. I was so much interested in learning through the support of the DIP team. I did struggle a lot in the beginning as I viewed SF as a completely new language that I must learn; I knew I should redefine my current words so I’d have an effective SF process. Thing is, in as much as I had gathered lots of SF information from desteniproductions, this did not make it any easier for me, I could go like: I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to uuuuhhhhmmm……………………………………….and past that, my mind just went blank, and this actually drove me to a state where I kind of gave up on this process for some time. Up till that moment, I did not fully comprehend why I couldn’t find the words to use.

Then I joined the DIP online course thinking that all is going to be easier. For sure I did find the tools offered in this course very useful to me and they did also help me with the SF language; now I could find the words to finish my sentences. My lessons one and two were like `a piece of cake` then came lesson 3 and at this time more than ever, I found myself coming up with enough excuses as to why I wasn’t dedicating myself to finishing my work on time. I could do SF just a page a day and would tell myself it’s enough for the day and that I am very tired. I wasn’t working; i had all the time to read and finish my assignment on time and even do extra SF sessions effectively. I became lazy, I procrastinated and with time, the DIP course material was accumulating and I still escaped doing something with an excuse. So I started becoming angry towards myself, I felt guilty for wasting so much time, I felt disappointed in myself. Within, I was a tornado of thoughts, feelings and emotions. Sometimes I was literally slapping myself and going like ‘’wake up Carolyne’’. I applied SF on some points and others I did not because I felt it was too much for me to handle. I could start with SF point and soon after I got bored and switched my attention to other things (of less importance). All this were just forms of distraction and I knew this but I was just too lazy to act. At some point, I did SF just to complete my assignment and not actually as a self-support tool. For some time, I just stopped completely doing my DIP with the excuse that ‘’I need to gather myself and focus’’. Deep down within myself, I know that my problem is just laziness and procrastinating.

It has been a pattern for me to work best under pressure and in the last minute. This time I produce the best results. Like I remember back in college, I would study for my exam just the night before the said exam and later on scoring very good grades. With time, I accepted this pattern to be me and hence I procrastinated until the last minute. I also know that I am always overwhelmed by new things, be it new information, new situations, new environments etc but after some time, this excitement wears out and off I go to find my next exiting thing. Like for example, I was very good in music and playing piano and recorder in high school and so later I asked my partner to buy me a piano, which he did plus books, and after the piano was here, I lost interest in it. This is a pattern I’ve discovered too in myself.
Despite all this excuses and procrastination, my whole as self is convinced that DIP tools produce far greater results for I have tested for myself despite my inner conflicts. After I saw this picture on Facebook by desteni artists ‘’push oneself to re-birth oneself’’, well there was no turning back. I became more serious in my self-application through SF. I started working on the problems I had been and still facing one breath at a time.

Points I saw within this:
•Allowing and accepting myself to fall into laziness.
•Allowing and accepting myself to procrastinate.
•Allowing and accepting myself to believe that I work best in the last minute.
•Allowing and accepting myself to come up with excuses to escape taking self-responsibility.
•Allowing and accepting myself to fall into the trap of repeated patterns.
•Allowing and accepting myself to identify myself with and as a pattern.
•Allowing and accepting myself to be overwhelmed by work while it’s just due to laziness and procrastinating.
•Allowing and accepting myself to be angry, guilty and defeated by my work.
•Allowing and accepting myself to desire for something and the soon after lose all interest in the same thing I desired.
•Allowing and accepting myself to separate myself from my current reality.
•Allowing and accepting myself to live in the past as memories and pictures instead of being here in every moment of breath.
•Allowing and accepting myself to accept self-defeat.
•Allowing and accepting myself to have inner conflict between myself and the mind.
•Allowing and accepting myself not to be HERE in every moment of breath.

Self-forgiveness:
•Allowing and accepting myself to fall into laziness.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to fall into laziness
•Allowing and accepting myself to procrastinate.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to procrastinate.
•Allowing and accepting myself to believe that I work best in the last minute.
I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to believe that I work best in the last minute.
Etc

Self-corrective statements:
•Any moment I see myself procrastinating, I stop, I breathe and take self-responsibility by doing my work here in the very moment.
•Any moment find myself falling into laziness, I stop, I breath I do not accept and allow myself to fall into laziness or participate in doing activities that lead me into laziness.
Etc.
This is my journey so far 

So,
Are you a person that is looking for education that is not available at schools and universities?
Would you like to take a journey into the deepest core of you as a human being as you currently exist?
Would you like to learn how and why you think, experience emotions and feelings, make decisions and how to align it all so that you’re in charge of your life?
Join us at: www.desteniiprocess.com
Would you like to support and see heaven on earth manifest in reality?
Find out how your vote will count at: www.equalmoney.org
Would you like to share your views about the current reality in our world?
Stop by at: www.desteni.co.za
VALUE LIFE.
Oneness and Equality HERE.