EXPOSING MYSELF TO ME AND TO YOU AS ME.
Whoever is reading this blog now, I am writing at the same time exposing myself to you. I am doing this because it is now time for me to take self-responsibility of standing one and equal with and as you and hence I’m exposing myself to you because i no longer want to hide anything from you as me. FOR, HOW CAN WE FIND EACHOTHER IF WE ARE CONSTANTLY HIDING OURSELVES FROM EACHOTHER? We are all one and equal as each other as life. We are in this together but I cannot take responsibility for you. You are HERE and so am I, we both have an equal chance of taking responsibility for self as one and equal with and as life. Some things I cannot accept for you e.g. like choosing to be one and equal with and as all or taking responsibility for your actions. So stop running and hiding from you. I have, I am.
This morning 18th.07.2011 i have decided fully to stand ONE and EQUAL with and as my PHYSICAL BODY. For some time now, i have abused my physical body because i saw myself as separate from it. This is how i have been abusing my body:
• I drink alcohol hence not only deliberately altering the state of my body as wholesomeness and totality but also harming my internal organs which have to work very hard to expel the alcohol.
• I wear makeup which is just chemicals harming my body especially my face.
• I use body lotions so that my body can be soft, smooth, and good smelling.
• I drink less water therefore I’ve seen dryness manifesting on the skin of my body
• I eat lots of meat and by so doing, experience pain in my lower abdomen hence making my body uncomfortable.
• Not moving my body very often.
• Exposing my body to danger.
Here are perspectives and excuses i use to allow and accept this abuse:
Alcohol:
I am surrounded by alcohol.
Alcohol makes me feel happy, relaxed and at ease with myself.
I become hyper active after using alcohol.
Sometimes i become violent after using lots of alcohol
My urge for sex increases after using alcohol.
I become very emotional after using alcohol.
Because it is a genetic problem.
WHY?
Because I’m just using alcohol to suppress/escape many things I have allowed and accepted within and as me. I use alcohol as an excuse/escape mechanism from myself instead of taking full SELF responsibility for my situations/actions in every moment of breath for and as life here.
Makeup
To feel more beautiful.
For other people to see me as beautiful.
For men (including my partner) to accept/look at me as beautiful and love me.
To be accepted into society as a beautiful person.
To get attention/admired by men/women.
To feel superior that I am more beautiful than others.
WHY?
Because I have not accepted myself as the beauty of and as life. Because I have not accepted myself to be equal with everyone as myself and hence the reason why I do things like wearing makeup so that others can accept me or society can accept me, while all the while this is just a game of me separating myself from me as others. Because I have all the while separated myself from my physical body and hence I never saw or realized how I am busy harming my body because I thought it is separate from me, I thought I will not be harmed if I harm my body.
Body lotions:
To have soft tender skin.
To have nice smelling skin.
To be accepted as one who has really great nice soft skin.
To feel that I have better skin than others.
WHY?
Because I allowed and accepted my skin as something separate from me. I accepted to be told that my skin is not soft or tender enough and hence I should use chemicals to make it so.
Water
I have unconsciously replaced drinking water by drinking alcohol.
Meat
I love meat.
Meat tastes really good.
Some are sweet tooth, some eat meat and hence I am the meat eater (says society).
I can afford meat easily.
WHY?
Because I allowed and accepted myself to be categorized in society as a ‘meat eating person’ instead of standing one and equal with all beings and realizing that, I don’t need to be categorized to fit in. I am already HERE therefore ‘’IN’’. because I have allowed and accepted myself to be defined by my taste buds in terms of what tastes good and what doesn’t and hence just playing a polarity game with my tongue and animals paying the price as meat for my blatant ignorance. It is time to discipline myself as the tongue.
Not moving my body often
I use the excuse that I’m a homely type of person and so I like to stay home.
Watching TV and movies.
WHY?
Again because I have allowed myself to be categorized by society as a ‘homely type of person’, therefore do homely activities like watching TV, caring for home stuff etc.
I will no longer accept and allow to be defined or categorized by society.
Exposing my body to physical danger:
Exposing myself (ears) to loud music (disco)
WHY?
Because I have always seen my physical body as something temporary and hence separate from me and hence the reason why I abuse it through exposing it to physical danger.
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