Tuesday, 31 January 2012
BEATEN BECAUSE OF HER!
Back when I was in Primary school, there was this moment when one of my fellow girl student just came out and pointed me during parade time in the morning. Soon after, the teacher on duty approached me and took me out of the parade line and gave me a beating of my life. I did not understand what exactly was happening at that time amidst the agony of the caning. Its up till later on that i discovered that a the girl who pointed me out just was shifting blame to me of something she had been responsible for. she had left the put on the dormitory lights at a time they were not supposed to be on.
this memory and picture of me being caned really harshely has been lingering in my mind for many years till now. This is what arises in me once this memories and pictures come up in my mind:
Self forgiveness in relation to the above:
this memory and picture of me being caned really harshely has been lingering in my mind for many years till now. This is what arises in me once this memories and pictures come up in my mind:
- Anger towards the student who falsely accused me.
- Anger towards the techer who badly caned me without excercising fairness.
- dissapointment towards many techers in who physically abuse children Sadness for having been falsely accused.
- Abondonment for having been taken to a boarding school at a very early age.
- sadness for i felt my mother had abandoned me.
- fear towards the teacher who caned me plus fear towards teachers in general for i saw teachers as superior than me.
- I felt inferior compared to the student that falsely accused me.
Self forgiveness in relation to the above:
- I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to exist and live as a memory ofthe student who falsely accused me of something i did not do many years ago.
- I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to exist as a long time past picture of a teacher beating me for a faulse accusation.
- I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have anger exist withing and as me.
- I forgive myself ro allowing and accepting myself to anger towards the student who falsely accused me.
- I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to till date be angry towards the teacher who punished me for a crime i did not commit.
- I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have dissapointment exist within and as me.
- I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to define myself as dissapointment towards all teachers because of being beaten by one.
- I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself for defining myself within the context of anger towards teachers.
- I forgive myself for fearing teachers.
- i forgive myself for allowing and accpting myself to have hatred towards teachers.
- i forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to see myself as inferior compared to the teacher and student that falsely accused me.
- i forgive myself for allowing and accpting myself to be angry towards my mother for taking me to boarding school when i was still very young.
- i forgive mayself for allowing and accepting myself have abandonment exist within and as me.
- i forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to define myself within the context of abandonment.
- i forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to have sadness exist within and as me.
- i forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to feel sad towards myself for having been picked on.
- i forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to define myself within the context of sadness.
Any moment i find myself participating within this memory or picture of me being accused by my fellow student and my teacher beating me, i stop, i breath and do not allow myself to participate within this memories or pictures.
2012 WHY I WAS ABLE TO HEAR THE DESTENI MESSEGE.
In the earliest years of my life, my grandmother raised my brothers and I in very strong Christian values of the Seventh Day Adventist Church (SDA). At this point
in time, my mother was away, so was my father.my parents had separated and my mother went to further her studies in India. I was very good in memorizing bible verses and I would recite them in church each Saturday and my grandparents were very proud of me. Later on, my mother came back from India and we relocated to the Rift Valley part of Kenya where she was high school teacher. In less than a year she got a new job and again we relocated to Nairobi. It is Here that my mother met an Italian man with whom she spent close 20 years together, and also how I begun to ‘’see beyond my nose’’.
One evening, when I was 9 years old, my then new step-father and i started talking. I remember I asked him about prayer and if he believed in God. He then smiled at me and asked me several questions which helped me confirm what I had been questioning myself all along. Questions like: If God was fair and just, how come some people live longer than others? If really getting saved gets one into heaven where one has eternal bliss, then can it fair when others live longer than others, because those who live longer have more time to repent and get their act together than those who had short lives. Another was why should all of humanity have to suffer because of one man’s sins (Adam and Eve story)? Why don’t we remember where we came from? Why are we here? Who are we? Why is there so much suffering on earth? Why I was not asked if I want to participate in this suffering? Why does God impose so much suffering on some for an insane reason that others must suffer so that others can learn? And so much more!
And so it is from here that I began my quest to look for any possible answer why things were the way they were back then, which still continue till now and now just
being much worse than back then. So all time when I was among my friends, and religion or another topic came up, I asked questions or gave perspectives that no one was expecting. Later on when I was in high school, it is here than my questioning and curiosity grew even more. It wasn’t long before my fellow students begun branding me with names like: the weirdo, the devil worshipper, the girl possessed with demons, Satan etc. some students even came up with stories that God had sent them to ‘save’ me through prayer. Even teachers referred to me as a strange child.
During and Later on after high school, I read many book, delved into the study of other religions like Buddhism, Islam, Hinduism, Judaism, Jehovah’s Witness and Atheism. I also followed several meditations taught by some Gurus or ascended masters. I also did daime (Ayyahuasca) all in my quest to look for truth and answers to my questions. And so I learnt a lot about love, positive, negative, law of attraction etc. but to me this wasn’t enough. I still had not reached the ‘IT’ point!
I had few experiences of my own where I had visions but my most vivid ‘extraordinary
experience’ happened sometime late 2008. At this point in time, my brother and I had been spending countless of sleepless nights chatting the night away about religion, life, God, politics, movies, meditation, love etc. so on this particular night, I was in my brothers’ bedroom and lying on his bed. It was dark, and suddenly I had a loud gunshot like sound in my head and immediately was at many places instantaneously. I was in New Jersey where my father lives today, in South Africa, in all rooms in my home, outside, and other places I don’t recall well. This was ofcourse accompanied by great fear as I did not know or understand what was happening to me. All that was clear was that I was lying on my brother’s bed and was in many places at the same time. So ofcourse, this did not last long and it has never happened again ever since then. I talked to my brother about the experience I had just had and he told me he has experienced that and more and so it was comforting to know that I wasn’t alone.
THE MARTRX movie, after watching it more than 3 times as my brother had recommended, it finally dawned on me that, we humans may actually be just robots, preprogrammed
and being used as energy generators by ‘higher’ beings, just dint quite understand fully how. And so I began researching online for different perspectives on the matrix movie. This is where I learnt about the galactic federation of light, David Icke, credo Mutwa, the Mayans, etc. and ofcourse, Sunnette of desteni. After watching just 2 videos of Sunnete, I KNEW that this was the IT point in my life! So I watched many desteni videos, THREE things were EXPLAINED over and over again: SELF HONESTY, SELF FORGIVENESS AND SELF CORRECTIVE APPLICATION IN AND AS SELF AWARENESS all in every moment of and as BREATH HERE. At Desteni I learn what it means to be one and equal to and as life, I learn about taking SELF RESPONSIBILITY towards myself and all life instead of imposing it on others or a ‘higher power or being’. Here Iearnt that there is only one choice and this is the choice that considers all life equally as self and this choice is a choice that is best for all life, and not based on self interest which is chocking not only human life but all Life life on earth including earth itself. I learnt that we are all responsible for how life is currently lived and experienced here on earth, this immense suffering. Many questions I was asking myself of who am I, why am I here, what is the meaning of life, why be here on earth, who/what is God etc have been explained in details and in great commonsensical clarity. Here they explain COMMON SENSE common sense, living
simplified. and to top it all, really the Equal Money System where all humans have equal money from birth to death! I investigated equal money and im convinced without a doubt that an Equal Money system is the key to end most of all the suffering of all life forms here on earth! Many phylosophers, teachers, gurus like Jesus, Buddha, ghandhi, Mohammed, the delai lamas, shivas, vishnus etc all just taught to love thy neighbor as u love thyself, which means, you cant really love thy neighbor before u learn to love thyself. Desteni will show you how to love thyself, how to become the very Love that is the essence of life, life is u, is all, as one as equal and it is only from this love as self that one can for real love ones neighbor.
Usually when I read about or found something new, I still had questions which lead me to discovering something higher and the game went on. And so I met desteni and
here theres equality, all are ONE and equal (yet different in expression) what can be higher than equality? Nothing. At desteni I learnt the difference between what’s reality and illusion, I mean, what else can one want to become that is higher except REAL? Here I learnt reality about our physical earth, isn’t earth the Alpha and omega? The only thing that has always remained even when all pass away….this is common sense. Where else can u ever be except where really you are? HERE! U can imagine, create, think, memorize etc, but u can never change the fact that you are where you are, which is HERE! How else can u ever see changes in your reality if you don’t become the changes? I mean what is higher about change than BECOMING and BEing the Change itself?
And so I have concluded my quest for truth, truth wasn’t hidden anywhere, it was with me all along and DESTENI have and are still supporting me to take responsibility of my life as I REALIZE this truth about me one BREATH at a time. Taking responsibility towards self and all life as I be the witness of my death as a mind consciousness system into the physical as one as all as equal, HERE.
Theres is no HERO or Jesus coming to save one from the shit that one has allowed and accepted to happen in ones world. So, stop waiting and take responsibility and clean your own mess! If you need support, desteni is here for you.
For more,investigate:
http://www.desteni.org/
http://www.desteniiprocess.com/
http://www.equalmoney.org/
in time, my mother was away, so was my father.my parents had separated and my mother went to further her studies in India. I was very good in memorizing bible verses and I would recite them in church each Saturday and my grandparents were very proud of me. Later on, my mother came back from India and we relocated to the Rift Valley part of Kenya where she was high school teacher. In less than a year she got a new job and again we relocated to Nairobi. It is Here that my mother met an Italian man with whom she spent close 20 years together, and also how I begun to ‘’see beyond my nose’’.
One evening, when I was 9 years old, my then new step-father and i started talking. I remember I asked him about prayer and if he believed in God. He then smiled at me and asked me several questions which helped me confirm what I had been questioning myself all along. Questions like: If God was fair and just, how come some people live longer than others? If really getting saved gets one into heaven where one has eternal bliss, then can it fair when others live longer than others, because those who live longer have more time to repent and get their act together than those who had short lives. Another was why should all of humanity have to suffer because of one man’s sins (Adam and Eve story)? Why don’t we remember where we came from? Why are we here? Who are we? Why is there so much suffering on earth? Why I was not asked if I want to participate in this suffering? Why does God impose so much suffering on some for an insane reason that others must suffer so that others can learn? And so much more!
And so it is from here that I began my quest to look for any possible answer why things were the way they were back then, which still continue till now and now just
being much worse than back then. So all time when I was among my friends, and religion or another topic came up, I asked questions or gave perspectives that no one was expecting. Later on when I was in high school, it is here than my questioning and curiosity grew even more. It wasn’t long before my fellow students begun branding me with names like: the weirdo, the devil worshipper, the girl possessed with demons, Satan etc. some students even came up with stories that God had sent them to ‘save’ me through prayer. Even teachers referred to me as a strange child.
During and Later on after high school, I read many book, delved into the study of other religions like Buddhism, Islam, Hinduism, Judaism, Jehovah’s Witness and Atheism. I also followed several meditations taught by some Gurus or ascended masters. I also did daime (Ayyahuasca) all in my quest to look for truth and answers to my questions. And so I learnt a lot about love, positive, negative, law of attraction etc. but to me this wasn’t enough. I still had not reached the ‘IT’ point!
I had few experiences of my own where I had visions but my most vivid ‘extraordinary
experience’ happened sometime late 2008. At this point in time, my brother and I had been spending countless of sleepless nights chatting the night away about religion, life, God, politics, movies, meditation, love etc. so on this particular night, I was in my brothers’ bedroom and lying on his bed. It was dark, and suddenly I had a loud gunshot like sound in my head and immediately was at many places instantaneously. I was in New Jersey where my father lives today, in South Africa, in all rooms in my home, outside, and other places I don’t recall well. This was ofcourse accompanied by great fear as I did not know or understand what was happening to me. All that was clear was that I was lying on my brother’s bed and was in many places at the same time. So ofcourse, this did not last long and it has never happened again ever since then. I talked to my brother about the experience I had just had and he told me he has experienced that and more and so it was comforting to know that I wasn’t alone.
THE MARTRX movie, after watching it more than 3 times as my brother had recommended, it finally dawned on me that, we humans may actually be just robots, preprogrammed
and being used as energy generators by ‘higher’ beings, just dint quite understand fully how. And so I began researching online for different perspectives on the matrix movie. This is where I learnt about the galactic federation of light, David Icke, credo Mutwa, the Mayans, etc. and ofcourse, Sunnette of desteni. After watching just 2 videos of Sunnete, I KNEW that this was the IT point in my life! So I watched many desteni videos, THREE things were EXPLAINED over and over again: SELF HONESTY, SELF FORGIVENESS AND SELF CORRECTIVE APPLICATION IN AND AS SELF AWARENESS all in every moment of and as BREATH HERE. At Desteni I learn what it means to be one and equal to and as life, I learn about taking SELF RESPONSIBILITY towards myself and all life instead of imposing it on others or a ‘higher power or being’. Here Iearnt that there is only one choice and this is the choice that considers all life equally as self and this choice is a choice that is best for all life, and not based on self interest which is chocking not only human life but all Life life on earth including earth itself. I learnt that we are all responsible for how life is currently lived and experienced here on earth, this immense suffering. Many questions I was asking myself of who am I, why am I here, what is the meaning of life, why be here on earth, who/what is God etc have been explained in details and in great commonsensical clarity. Here they explain COMMON SENSE common sense, living
simplified. and to top it all, really the Equal Money System where all humans have equal money from birth to death! I investigated equal money and im convinced without a doubt that an Equal Money system is the key to end most of all the suffering of all life forms here on earth! Many phylosophers, teachers, gurus like Jesus, Buddha, ghandhi, Mohammed, the delai lamas, shivas, vishnus etc all just taught to love thy neighbor as u love thyself, which means, you cant really love thy neighbor before u learn to love thyself. Desteni will show you how to love thyself, how to become the very Love that is the essence of life, life is u, is all, as one as equal and it is only from this love as self that one can for real love ones neighbor.
Usually when I read about or found something new, I still had questions which lead me to discovering something higher and the game went on. And so I met desteni and
here theres equality, all are ONE and equal (yet different in expression) what can be higher than equality? Nothing. At desteni I learnt the difference between what’s reality and illusion, I mean, what else can one want to become that is higher except REAL? Here I learnt reality about our physical earth, isn’t earth the Alpha and omega? The only thing that has always remained even when all pass away….this is common sense. Where else can u ever be except where really you are? HERE! U can imagine, create, think, memorize etc, but u can never change the fact that you are where you are, which is HERE! How else can u ever see changes in your reality if you don’t become the changes? I mean what is higher about change than BECOMING and BEing the Change itself?
And so I have concluded my quest for truth, truth wasn’t hidden anywhere, it was with me all along and DESTENI have and are still supporting me to take responsibility of my life as I REALIZE this truth about me one BREATH at a time. Taking responsibility towards self and all life as I be the witness of my death as a mind consciousness system into the physical as one as all as equal, HERE.
Theres is no HERO or Jesus coming to save one from the shit that one has allowed and accepted to happen in ones world. So, stop waiting and take responsibility and clean your own mess! If you need support, desteni is here for you.
For more,investigate:
http://www.desteni.org/
http://www.desteniiprocess.com/
http://www.equalmoney.org/
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